Bizarro World: Parental Advisory Group Says MK vs DC is Fun for the Family

No, this is not some cruel, late April Fools joke. Lets all take a second to soak this in. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry has spent the last the last sixteen years claiming that Mortal Kombat destroys the minds of impressionable young children. In a unexpected turn of events, the organization is now promoting Mortal Kombat vs DC as good, wholesome, family fun. WHAT?

Read it for yourself while I spend the next ten minutes trying to pinch myself out of this crazy daydream:

“Many parents tell me that while they try hard to monitor their children’s video game play, they regret not being able to play themselves. Most who attempt often get discouraged with the complexity of the control settings. Others may survive for a time, until the overwhelming visual and audio effects exhaust them. The Midway Home Entertainment’s new release Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe has remedied these ailments…

…A frequent feature of the MK series has been the GORE it depicts. Each punch or kick ends in blood spurts from the victim. The earliest version, Mortal Kombat, among others was referenced widely during the 1994 Senate hearing on video game violence. A major result of those hearings was the ESRB rating system that we use today. Earlier versions of MK received M (Mature) rating. This version is the first in its pedigree to get a T (teen) rating, and includes less GORE than its predecessors. Yet, in this game, blood and sweat do spill with landing attacks. The game offers the parental modification as an option…

…With its simpler play, familiar graphics, and adjustable gore content, this product will likely facilitate an adult joining a teenager in video game play.” — T. Atilla Ceranoglu, M.D. of the AACAP

While the report does not say that MK vs DC should be the first game your toddler ever plays, it does mark a watershed moment in the history of the Mortal Kombat franchise. Some would call it selling out, others call it pandering to the masses, but no matter how you look at it, this is another baby step towards video games receiving mainstream acceptance.

Oh and this just in, the devil has called in sick today with a cold. Don’t worry though, you can still get your free sleigh rides once the snow tappers off in hell. Damn blizzards spoil all of the fun…